These Terms of Service ("Terms") govern your access to and use of www.thelastwipe.com, shop.thelastwipe.com, and honorroll.thelastwipe.com (the "Sites") and all products sold through them ("Products"). By accessing the Sites or placing an order, you agree to these Terms.
1. Eligibility
You must be at least 18 years old to purchase Products or post content on the Sites. By using the Sites, you represent that you meet this requirement.
2. Products
The Products are novelty toilet paper rolls printed with the text of various oaths, contracts, vows, and similar documents. The Products are functional toilet paper. They are sold for lawful personal use, including being mailed to identifiable recipients through the United States Postal Service or other lawful carriers. The text printed on the Products is presented as commentary, satire, and opinion protected under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution.
3. Acceptable Use
You agree not to use the Sites or Products to:
- Threaten, harass, or intimidate any person.
- Send unsolicited bulk shipments designed to overwhelm a recipient ("mail-bombing").
- Violate any local, state, federal, or international law.
- Defame any person or entity in any submission to the Honor Roll or contact form.
- Interfere with or disrupt the Sites' operation, security, or other users' use of the Sites.
We reserve the right to refuse service, cancel orders, or remove content at our sole discretion if we believe these Terms have been violated.
4. Orders, Pricing, and Payment
All orders are subject to acceptance. Prices and availability are subject to change without notice. Payment is processed through Shopify; by checking out, you authorize the charge to your selected payment method.
5. Shipping and Returns
Shipping terms and the 30-day return policy are described on the Shipping and Customer Service pages and are incorporated into these Terms by reference.
6. User-Submitted Content
You retain ownership of content you submit to the Honor Roll or contact form, but you grant us a non-exclusive, worldwide, royalty-free license to use, display, host, and distribute that content on the Sites in connection with operating the Honor Roll. Detailed posting rules are in our User Agreement.
7. Intellectual Property
The Sites' design, layout, brand marks, slogans (including "Sooner or later, every roll gets used."), trade dress, and original copy are owned by The Last Wipe. The texts of public-domain oaths, vows, and constitutions printed on the Products are not subject to copyright. You may not copy, modify, or distribute the Sites' original content without our written permission.
8. Charitable Contributions
We donate 10% of each sale to a charity related to the broken oath printed on the Product. Details are on the Donations page. This commitment is part of the consideration for the sale.
9. Disclaimers
The Sites and Products are provided "as is" and "as available," without warranties of any kind, express or implied, including but not limited to merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement. We do not warrant that the Sites will be uninterrupted, secure, or error-free.
10. Limitation of Liability
To the maximum extent permitted by law, The Last Wipe and its principals shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of or relating to your use of the Sites or Products. Our total liability for any claim shall not exceed the amount you paid for the Product giving rise to the claim.
11. Indemnification
You agree to indemnify and hold harmless The Last Wipe, its principals, employees, and agents from any claim, liability, damage, or expense (including reasonable attorneys' fees) arising out of your breach of these Terms, your use of the Sites or Products, or your submission of content to the Honor Roll or contact form.
12. Governing Law and Venue
These Terms are governed by the laws of the State of California, without regard to its conflicts-of-law principles. Any dispute arising under these Terms shall be brought exclusively in the state or federal courts located in Los Angeles County, California, and you consent to the jurisdiction of those courts.
13. Changes
We may modify these Terms at any time. The updated version will be posted here with a new effective date. Continued use of the Sites after changes constitutes acceptance.
14. Contact
Questions: contact form. The Last Wipe is operated out of Los Angeles, California, USA.